i’m not charming

i’m simply not charming. i'm probably not very witty at this point either come to think of it. i want to be. i wish i was. but i cannot find it within myself to smile and say hello to strangers. to have my hair and makeup just so and to follow dress code at work. i just cannot. i am going to burst soon, i am almost positive. i wish to say it was just from excitement and joy, which in part…it is. but mostly it is because i am a huge swollen heap of pregnant mess!

i had my final ultrasound yesterday. i may have said “final” before, and that is because i really thought it was…but we have had 3 BIG u/s at the hospital rather than just the one most folks get. “why?” you might ask – well, i’ll tell you. it’s because this sweet little angel inside my belly is rather stubborn and non-cooperative when it comes to ultrasounds! each time they have tried to get certain measurements they have been unable to capture a good shot of her spine and of the 4 chamber valve in her heart. this time we got the heart and all 4 chambers! WOO HOO! but turns out, 3rd time is not ALWAYS a charm…still no great spine shots, which dr. says is just fine and no biggie. in times past her spine was too curled up and facing the wrong direction to capture. this time however, it is that the bottom portion of her spine, along with her little hiney, are tucked SO far up behind my right rib that you cannot see them on an u/s…yes, it is as it sounds, rather uncomfortable!

other than that – the u/s went well. it is always my favorite thing, to see her up on the screen just precious and so REAL! i think her daddy would agree. we just love to watch her move around and do cute baby things! :) yesterday she grabbed her feet and started playing with her toes. i watched and smiled and thought to myself, “WOW! in just a few weeks she will be lying in my lap doing this!” she rubbed her hands by her face a lot and kicked me non stop, which is no change from when the cameras are off! i remember when she was so tiny that i could see her kick on the screen but not feel it…a big change from that to where we are today! but i wouldn’t trade those kicks and jabs for anything. i love, love, love knowing she is in there and just anxious to come out and meet me and her daddy! her little head was COVERED in hair. there is a picture of it on the slide show below, it is the cutest thing ever! speaking of her head…it was incredibly low and in GREAT position for birthing. PRAISE GOD! in fact, the u/s tech said it best - “wow, her head is really low – she is knocking at the door of your cervix!” i got SO excited when i heard that! we also go to hear her heartbeat, a beautiful 144 bpm. still total music to my ears!

after our u/s we went up to dr. johnson’s office for our appointment. they faxed over the u/s preliminary readings so dr. johnson could brief us on “the good stuff.”  most importantly that the baby looks good and is weighing in around 5.11 lbs right now. she said she thinks by delivery she will be around 6.5-7 lbs! perfect by me! i have to add shamelessly, that I on the OTHER HAND...have put on a whopping 32 lbs. six in just the last 2 weeks. WOW...there is really nothing else i can say to that, lol. oh well! :) dr. johnson asked how i was feeling to which i replied “good. i figure it’s not a total lie. for a woman 35 weeks and 4 days pregnant i think i am doing alright. she asked the typical stuff “is the baby active” (yes) “any bleeding” (no) and then asked how the u/s went. i told her that the tech mentioned the baby was “a-knockin” and she said “YES! let’s check you!” i have to mention that dr. johnson has told us all along that the baby would turn head down (which she did, PTL) and that i would not carry full term…more specifically that i will deliver the baby naturally before she goes on vacation on July 10th (keep in mind my due date is the 18th). so…i stripped down and laid down for the first dreaded “check!” i have heard that it can be painful, but i had no pain at all. it was quick and totally painless….

seconds later and full of smiles she tells me “YEP! you are 70% effaced and at a minus one station." what!? matt and i look at each other a bit dumbfounded. i had bet him that i was moving along quickly, he had bet me that i had no effacing or dialation and that what i was feeling was probably what every girl feels at 34 weeks. (i have been feeling like she’s literally just going to fall out for 2 weeks now). turns out we were both right, sort of. i am 70% effaced so my cervix is thinning quickly and baby is moving down and putting LOTS of pressure on things “down there.” BUT no dialation just yet so i haven’t “opened up.” a minus one station means that when she put her finger inside of me she could actually touch the baby’s head (through my uterus and cushioning of course) but was still able to push her up with her hand. Once the baby drops another 1/2 centimeter or so she will be at station 0 and thus “fully engaged” in my pelvis and not able to be pushed back up at all. At this point i am almost certain to start dialating! she summed it up by saying “walk, have sex, do whatever you want to do at this point. you are not going to have the baby this week, unless your water breaks on its own of course, but i do not think you will not be carrying her much longer!”

YAY! i am so excited i can hardly stand it. i have my hospital bag packed but i need to add just a few more things. matt installed the car seat (finally!) tonight. we are really doing this…

here are a few pictures of our baby girl. her face is chubby, her cheeks are huge (like her mommy’s) and her nose is so precious. her lips are full and pouty (which she did NOT get from mommy) and all 10 toes make mommy and daddy just melt. we love our little girl so much. just this week matt looked at me and said “i think this is going to be really fun".” “what’s that?” i said….”you know, having a daughter…” he replied! lol…i am glad he’s “in” – i just don’t think i could get any more blessed at the moment. beautiful daughter inside of me, an amazing husband by side and wonderful friends and family supporting us through all of it. THANK YOU JESUS for all of my blessings. You are so worthy of our PRAISE!

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oh…and although i am now almost 36 weeks i am behind on my picture posting…so here i am last saturday at 35 weeks. boy oh boy….or should i say GIRL :)